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2015 - 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership

Leadership

Jim Dethmer, Diana Chapman, Kailey Warner Klempaw

Summary

  1. Find where you are: “above the line” vs. “below the line.”
  2. Practicing integrity, and Taking radical responsibility.
  3. Learning through curiosity.
  4. Releasing all feelings, eliminating gossip, and speaking candidly.
  5. Generating Appreciation, and exploring the opposite.
  6. Seeing the world as an ally, and creating a win for all solutions.
  7. Excelling in your Zone of Genius.
  8. Finding the right balance and having enough of everything.
Find where you are: “above the line” vs. “below the line.”

  • Above the line Open, curious, committed to learning.

  • Below the line Closed, defensive, committed to being right.

  • Interrupt when you are below the line by pausing to breathe, accept, and shift.

Practicing integrity, and Taking radical responsibility.

  • Above the line Conscious leaders are impeccable with their agreements. They clear agreements, keep them, renegotiate when needed, and clean them up when broken. Take full responsibility and ask, “what can we learn, and how can we grow from this?”

  • Below the line Blame, shame, and guilt come from toxic fear, which drives the victim-villain-hero triangle.

Learning through curiosity.

  • Self-awareness and learning agility create sustained success in leaders.

  • Being “right” does not cause the drama but wanting, proving, fighting to be right does.

Releasing all feelings, eliminating gossip, and speaking candidly.

  • Expressing natural feelings is healthy. Learn to locate, name, and release emotions.

  • Gossip is a statement about another that the speaker would be unwilling to share in the same way if that person were in the room. People usually gossip out of fear to gain validation, control, avoid conflict, get attention, or feel included.

  • Candor is the revealing of all thoughts, feelings, and sensations in an honest, open, and aware way (vs. withholding). It’s best to start with candor in a relationship only when you have a shared commitment.

  • Practice conscious listening that is to listen for the content, emotion, and desire.

Generating Appreciation, and exploring the opposite.

  • Develop a taste of appreciation and to be open to the opposite of your story.

  • Four elements of masterful appreciation: sincerity, truth, specificity, succinct language.

  • The optimal ratio for a strong relationship: 5 appreciation and 1 constructive feedback.

Seeing the world as an ally, and creating a win for all solutions.

  • Conscious leaders commit to seeing all people and circumstances as allies in their growth and development.

  • Other people don’t have to commit to being your ally. If you are committed to experiencing them that way, they are always instrumental to your growth.

  • Don’t fall into: scarcity -> zero-sum game -> competition -> win/lose -> drama trap.

Excelling in your Zone of Genius.

  • Spend time with team members to assess, understand, and appreciate their unique genius qualities and talents. Help them use their strong genius talents more.

  • Four zones: incompetence, competence, excellence, genius.

  • Genius It’s the work that you love doing, so it does not feel like work.

  • Incompetence Dump it, delegate it, or do it differently.

Finding the right balance and having enough of everything.

  • Organizations that take rest and play are productive and creative.

  • Research is showing over and over again, the necessity of sleep for high functionality.

  • The experience of sufficiency (time, money, love, energy, space, resource) creates a profound shift in their relationship with others, work, and life.